SibTears

In October of 2002, my brother, Nathan, was born. I was so excited to be a big sister, even being 4. I only knew that my brother was sick and had to stay in the hospital. Nathan had Spina Bifida. He was very strong, I remember visiting him in the hospital. I didn’t think that it was fair that he didn’t get to come home when he was born, I still don’t. Nathan was attached to all kinds of tubes and IVs. Even though I knew it was to make him feel better, I didn’t like seeing him that way. I had wanted to spend all my time up there, talking to him and making sure he didn’t get lonely. Whenever I went to visit him, I sang “You are my Sunshine” to him. The nurses were all so kind. I remember taking his temperature. I loved it so much when I got to hold him. Even though he was such a strong baby, after six weeks of struggle he passed away in December.  The day my parents told me, I was devastated. I was also mad that my parents didn’t take him home before anything happened. Nathan’s still my brother though, and always will be, no matter what happens.

3 years later I found out that my mom was pregnant with another boy. I was so excited, I wanted to be holding him right then! Another part of me worried though, one of my brothers didn’t ever get to come home, what if this one didn’t either? I was seven then, so I understood a little more about what Nathan had. When I found out that my new brother would have the same condition that Nathan had, I was really scared. At that point I didn’t know if I even wanted another little brother, not if he might not be able to come home. I remember when I went to the hospital; I got to hold my new baby brother, Braden. I loved that I had another baby brother when he was born. Braden was hooked up to a lot of the same things that Nathan was, that made me more scared.

When he got home, I was so excited that I wanted to stay the night on my parent’s floor so I would be in the same room as Braden when I woke up. That lasted about 5 minutes! I was laying there and couldn’t get to sleep because he was crying so much! Now Braden is six. He can walk with a walker, scoot around the house, use his wheelchair, and is working on crutches now. He is very energetic and talkative, and has had nearly a dozen surgeries at Riley.

He gets to do so many fun things, like meeting John Andretti and being on T.V., I get jealous. Sometimes it seems like he gets all of the attention. There has been some times when I feel as if my parents choose favorites, because of the extra things that Braden gets to participate in. Then I feel bad for feeling that way, since he has been through so much. I still feel jealous though. When people ask me how many siblings I have, I say one to avoid explaining that one is an angel. That is hard for me to do because I have two amazing brothers. Braden is a terrific kid, and that has a lot to do with Riley Hospital.

- Submitted September 2011